Scaling Down (Almost) Painlessly

Moving to a smaller house or apartment in a retirement community almost always involves a certain degree of trauma, both for the elder who's moving and for family members. However, by planning ahead you can reduce the discomfort involved and turn what might well become a nightmare into a pleasant event.

Begin by Planning for the Move

Where is the elder moving? Go to the actual house or apartment with tape measure, pad and pencil and write down measurements. Floor space is important, but don't forget about ceilings. Many elders own large pieces of furniture that may not fit into rooms with low ceilings. Your work here will determine which pieces can move with your elder.

And while you're at the actual location, talk to several other elders who already live there. What is their life style? Do they go outside the property on frequent trips? How do they dress? Casual lifestyles will require an entirely different style of dress than more formal ones.

Gather Supplies and Contact Helpers

Having all the supplies you will need in one place will speed your task. You'll want a number of storage bins; five or six should be sufficient to hold sorted items. Plastic bags can be used for discarded belongings and as a container for articles to be donated to charities. Packing boxes and supplies such as padding materials and wide sealing tape are must-haves. Labels and dark marking pens are essential to ensure that boxes go to their intended location.

While you're in the gathering stage, begin to contact helpers you'll need. Among these may be:
estate sale professionals
certified appraisers
moving companies
house cleaners
repair specialists (electricians, plumbers, carpenters, painters)

Ask friends, relatives, and senior real estate specialists for recommendations. Also, check with the Better Business Bureau to ascertain whether problems have been reported about particular companies or individuals.

Approach Your Task One Room at a Time

Who should help? The elder and one family member should assume responsibility for sorting all items and some packing. Do not include everyone in the family if you want to make the job quick and easy because distractions increase in geometric proportion to the number of persons doing the sorting.

Sort all the items in one single room at once, beginning and ending in the kitchen. Why start there? Because kitchens in small houses and apartments typically are short on storage space, and the elder needs time and experience to determine which items are true necessities, and which may never be used. If you reduce kitchen items to a bare minimum at the beginning, your elder can determine what's needed and what's not by living with them ahead of time. After living with fewer items, your elder may find that items once thought essential may not be needed. Complete work in the kitchen at the very end of your tasks.

Even though you intend to stay in only one room, distractions will occur. Resist them by stacking items that belong in another room at the door. A bin or box placed just inside the door can contain all the items that have homes elsewhere.

Make your motto One Thing at a Time; One Time for each Thing. Once you've picked up an item, decide then and there what its fate should be. Place it in one of the bins you've labeled:
Discards
Donations
Distribution to Relatives
Keepers
Uncertainties

Large collections of books may require their own bins. You might have bins for Collectors' editions, books to be stored, books to be sold to book dealers.

When you have finished categorizing all the items in the room, start the packing process. Items in the Uncertainties bin can be packed for storage.

If an unbreakable item is to be moved only a short distance, don't waste time on elaborate packing and padding. Items like crystal and china, however, require excellent packing, regardless of the distance they will be moved. If you can't do a great job, leave packing fragile items to professionals.

Mark boxes as you go.

Mark boxes as you go.

Mark boxes as you go.

Nothing is more frustrating than finding that you've shipped your elder's bed linens to Aunt Minnie and kept a silver salver you meant to send your nephew.

Don't try to do everything at once. Do only one room on any given day, and take the time to enjoy reminiscing as you sort items.

This is also the perfect time to have a certified appraiser come in to appraise items that may be of significant value. Very expensive items may be auctioned at an auction house such as Christy's or Sotheby's. Less expensive items can be sold to local antiques dealers. By having an idea of their value before going to dealers, you reduce the chance that dealers can scam you.

You could also consider selling items through an on-line auction. If you do so, remember that you will be responsible for shipping items and ensuring their condition to successful bidders.

Distribute Items to the Intended Recipients

Schedule a single day for distribution of items. In-town relatives can come to pick up items intended for them; they may also be helpful by taking bags to charities, books to resellers, boxes to storage, and trash to dumps.

Use this day for shipping as well. Small items can be shipped via UPS or FedEx; large pieces of furniture and antiques may require special handling by movers. Once you've finished distribution, you should have a considerably reduced pile of boxes and furniture. These boxes should contain only items to be moved to the elder's new residence or to storage. Remaining items should be those to be sold in an estate sale.

Move the Elder to His New Residence

Will the mover actually show up on time? Will the mover actually show up at all? Increase the probability of a good outcome for the move by contacting the mover to confirm arrangement a week ahead and the day before the actual move is scheduled. Of course, missed appointments may still occur, but if you've checked out the company with the Better Business Bureau and reminded the company of your appointment, the chances are good that the move will go as planned.

Accompany your elder to his new residence and help him with the moving-in process. Even if not all boxes can be emptied in a single day, he will feel more comfortable if a few items that are meaningful to him are unpacked and placed where he can find them.

Hold an Estate Sale

Once the movers have left the premises, the estate sale professionals should come in to evaluate and price items for the estate sale. Give them a key to the house, and then get out of their way. If you have chosen well, these professionals can do a great job of pricing items to sell and clearing the house of whatever remains. They will take a percentage of the sale receipts as compensation.

The days of the sale are good days to keep your elder busy elsewhere. A tearful elder does nothing to help sales.

Schedule a professional cleaning service to clean the house once the estate sale is over. When that has been completed to your satisfaction, turn the keys over to your senior real estate professional and give yourself a big pat on the back. You're done!

Angels Are Reaching Out to the Elderly

I am reminded time after time of the profound effect Angels have on people. Recently, I have been receiving manyemails containing examples of how the Angels are reaching through the veils to assist the elderly. The elderly respond to Angel Paintings with a knowingness of love and illumination that comes from within them. Sometimes the reactions have been as though they are recognizing an old friend.

One example was a client emailing me to let me know of the response of woman who suffered from Alzheimer's. The responseto the Angel painting that had been commissioned was very profound from my understanding. The woman took onelook at the painting, reached for it and refused to be parted with it and for the rest of the day had to keep it in her lap as she was wheeled around in her wheelchair.

Another email stated:

Sharae,

As you know, your angelic paintings of our Guardian Angels have, from the day we received them, blessed all of our lives in one way or the other. Upon receipt of Marge's (My Mother) we were all stunned to see the uncanny parallels in what you were given to paint by the angels and what is actual reality. The colors, the subject, the roses!!! As you have learned, she had a stroke 2 years ago and this painting has provided her with an everlasting source of inspiration and hope. She has it hung in her bedroom so that she may look at her angel when she nods off to sleep at night and when she first awakes in the morning. This painting speaks volumes to her and keeps her motivated to continue therapy and to trudge on when all seems lost. She is doing very well! Ray's (My Father) has also provided him with the strength to not only take care of my mother but gives him the where withall to still take care of himself, his family and his business. He too has his angel next to my Mother's in that he can see it before nodding off at night and again in the morning when he awakes. I really, honestly, know that these angels; that have been presented to them through you, have helped them more than anyone could possibly imagine. Again, they are a source of constant inspiration and they have provided many wonderful thoughts and actions upon all who see them.

My parents mean the world to me and I thank you from the depths of my heart for being the link to actually seeing their angels. I know that we are not in control of many things that happen to us in life, however, just in knowing ... and seeing ... that we all do have guardian angels that are there for us, definitely helps to put things into perspective and yields a very positive attitude towards life. How could it not? Sometimes we cannot see the forest through the trees ... with the light that you have shined on my family we are not only seeing the forest but we now know that we are part of the whole process of life and take nothing for granted. For each day is a very special one and thanks to you, we know, even when we are "alone" we are never alone.

Once again, thank you with everything in me. And on behalf of my parents I thank you as well.

J. J.
Wilmington, Delaware

I accept there is more to Angelic art than meets the eye. I wonder in what ways this form of art could be used in hospitals,nursing homes, etc.? I know some people would probably react as forcing someone else's religion on another, but some formof Angel is in every religion as Angels are of no one religion. Angels are for everyone.

Skilled Nursing Homes - What Are They?

A skilled nursing home is a medical facility providing services similar to a hospital. The homes are staffed with licensed nurses, shared rooms, hospital beds, regular scheduled doctor rounds, meals and housekeeping. Skilled nursing homes often provide a more pleasant setting with optimal nurse to patient ratios and relaxed atmospheres.

Skilled nursing homes provide both long-term and short-term care solutions for seniors. Unlike Assisted Living or Board and Care homes, skilled nursing homes provide solutions for patients with complex medical issues that require 24-hour supervision. These issues can include mental issues such as dementia and physical issues such as major infections, wound care, IV therapy, tube feeding and physical/occupational therapy. Skilled nursing facilities are also a common solution for seniors that are unable to care for themselves on daily basis such as those suffering from Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.

A skilled nursing home typically provides a team approach when providing medical care to patients. A licensed individual, usually called the “administrator”, oversees the departments comprising the skilled nursing home. A licensed Director of Nursing [“D.O.N.”] is then responsible for the administration of each department providing care to residents. Each D.O.N. is directly involved in the medical care of each patient. Their duties include overseeing nurses, interacting with physicians and resolving any patient-related issues. In essence, the D.O.N. is the person overseeing the day-to-day medical care of the patient.

In addition to the Director of Nursing, a skilled nursing home will customarily have other professionals on staff to assist patients. A med nurse is always assigned for the sole purpose of administering medications prescribed for the patients. Physical and occupational therapists also work within the structure of care, coordinating specifically ordered therapies and reporting progress to doctors. An activities director is in charge of all social interaction and planned activities. Finally, a social worker is typically on staff to assist patients with emotional issues and arrangements for their care after discharge.